Logical Relationship & Heartbreak Advice (Glasgow/Scotland/UK)
88 videos • 301 views • by reflux Many people look for perfection in new relationships, but that's an unrealistic, as it suggests lack of emotional intelligence (Low EQ) & they lack the emotional resources to deal with any differences, challenges or conflict resolution. Nobody is perfect, people have flaws & everyone makes minor mistakes. We all make stupid decisions, hurt the people we love, say things that are hard to take back, push too hard to get our own way, and that's not toxic, its human. Arguments between couples are subjective, not all couples who argue/shout are abusers, otherwise everyone on the planet is abusive? No. Arguing is inevitable, and without conflict, nothing is being decided, which is where setting boundaries comes in. You need good communication, understanding, resolution, and have empathy for struggles in your partners lives, problems at work, stresses, hormonal changes, and health issues throughout life. Abuse is different, its something specific, its a crime. Also, a red flag is "danger", its not your partner making a mistake, its not a difference in opinion, its not saying something in the heat of an argument, and its not a fallout. An example of a real red flag would be physical abuse or consistent emotional abuse. Its a fact that invalidating a partner in an argument or fallout is generally unintentional, with only a small minority of the population doing it deliberate to hurt (which is abuse). So falsely accusing someone of something (like gaslighting) can not only dishonor the accused, but can be damaging, and destroy a person who didn't deserve it. Most people who shut down at their 1st argument, avoid conflict, or people please friends over their partner, are suffering from unhealed trauma (even if its subconscious), because they have bottled it up for so long, and took on the next partner. Good Vibes Only is Toxic Positivity, as it discards any negative emotions, and denies people authentic support. It masks mental health issues and creates bad vibes longterm. Law of Attraction doesn't exist, its known as The Barnum Effect. People who are unable to regulate their emotions, use projection & blame partners to protect their ego. Only established couples portray perfect lives online, and promote positive vibes, but in reality & in private they have downs, conflicts, and invalidate each other, but learn to forgive, and fix the problem, so it doesn't happen again. If you have a checklist for every little thing that goes wrong, you'll never settle, grow together, learn or last. Taking sarcasm literally causes feelings of invalidation. Like saying "nooo it diiidnt hurt" with a sarcastic tone of voice & body language. That's not gaslighting (see video in playlist). Autistic's, highly sensitive people, and borderlines take sarcasm or dry sense of humour literally, out of context, twist your words, blame you, and block or ghost. Its called mind-blindness. Friends can also sabotage all your relationships out of envy, jealousy, or because you spend more time with your partner than them, and they feel left out, so they ruin it by planting seeds of doubts in your mind, false red flags, etc. That's a form of manipulation, so you end up self-sabotaging a great relationship because you feel your loyalty lies with friends rather than the partner, and you are kept single, never finding "the one", and become vitriolic towards the ex partner, ghosting them and blaming them for all the problems you are causing yourself! Dumping all good partners for minor things (because of past bad experiences with real toxic ex's who have cheated or abused you) causes instability, and never settling down or get married. When you expect perfection and are too busy focusing on things your partner gets wrong, you fail to see the mistakes and the things that you get wrong too. If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain. Self-reflect. https://sptfy.com/reflux043 https://tinyurl.com/V1b3s https://tinyurl.com/RedFlagTruth https://tinyurl.com/SeptBigotReasonLowT https://tinyurl.com/Mind-Blind http://tinyurl.com/RealityEA https://tinyurl.com/TheRamadaLift https://tinyurl.com/GLting https://tinyurl.com/DumpYourBias https://tinyurl.com/Conflict-Fawning https://tinyurl.com/CanYouBeSureAbout... https://tinyurl.com/EA-hmmm https://tinyurl.com/False-Memories http://tinyurl.com/True-Diversity