I've got no clue what to put here, so here's the joke book :)
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
My Wife said that I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!"
What's the best thing about Switzerland? "I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves. Finally, my high school karate lessons paid off.
"oh haha Now I'm totally going to subscribe" ;)