I started my channel in order to help myself and help others overcome the difficulties of mental illness. I realize that all mental illnesses are taboo and don't typically count as "real" illnesses. We are told to "cheer up", "look at how good you got it", etc. I think all this advice is extremely annoying when we are in the depths of a mental illness. My illness tells me that I am not good enough, that I am not smart, that I am fat, that I should not waste my time trying, that if I try to talk to new people that they will judge me in a negative way even if they are smiling. My illness tells me that people are liars, and that they always have an agenda. My illness tells me that there is no point to life because we will all end up wasting away in some horrible way. My illness has led me to the suicidal abyss, that dark hole that seems like sanctuary compared to living. I wonder to myself, how did that little girl become this messed up, crazy individual?