A person with an unknown name, age, sex, or species and an undefined location and intention has been in my own exact location in this moment and made, for an unknown reason, contact with the Italian dish of which I am the legal and righteous possessor and with which I have the right to do what I please and whose only purpose was to be consumed by my person and anyone who feels hungry for this specific dish, and after my consultation and positive answer, will be granted the right of consumption of over a quantity chosen by my person of the dish in question, action which leaves me in a state of tremendous pain and shock because I am in the incapacity of figuring what individual has violated my family's privacy and security by making an unwanted and forced entrance in our beloved quarters and peaceful living place that we, humble and honest people, cherish and deserve.
Signed,
Lankinapalli Lashimi Lamnpapjs Lakshminarasimham