Welcoem to posts!!
in the future - u will be able to do some more stuff here,,,!! like pat catgirl- i mean um yeah... for now u can only see others's posts :c
Moved to my new channel 👇 subscribe over there for more ⚡
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I'm migrating some of this channel's content over to my new channel Gently Wander. Meditation for 🪨 Resistance 🪨 is over there 🤗 (and if you like this type of content, please be sure to subscribe over there 🤩)
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I started a new YouTube channel 🤩✨-->subscribe over there for more spiritually-minded content like astrology, meditation, nature prettiness and who knows what else 😍 my first video is how to cast your birth chart and transit chart in the whole sign house system.
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a walk into fear
many a hike i have taken, but very few in the dark.
i had won a lottery to hike angels landing in zion--the before 9am slot in late october. somewhere along the way i felt it necessary to get to the top of angels landing for sunrise. never having done this hike, just knowing i had to do it.
until the early morning came and i went outside and realized that i would be going there in darkness. there would be no streetlights illuminating my path, no prior experience of the hike itself; it would be me, my headlamp and my two feet.
"maybe i can't do this. maybe i'll just take some dark sky shots from the parking lot and wait until daybreak." the fear was telling me not to do it, but the call to get up there was saying just try a few steps...you can always turn back.
so i took a step, and then another, following the wide path of the grotto trail, scanning in all directions with my headlamp piercing the darkness, watching for eyes staring back at me. so far so good. a bit windy, a bit eerie. no one in sight.
then a pair of eyes were staring out at me from a field. then two pair, then three. they looked like they could be about the size of a cougar but as i said hello and continued to shine the light i realized it was a group of mule deer. okay, deep breath, relief. continuing on.
a little further down the trail became narrow, set against the hill, covered in trees. the main vehicle road was there and went that way for visibility.
continuing to scan and make my way, i saw two lights coming toward me. as they passed we said hello and i hoped that they were headed to the same place. please please let them be going to angels landing.
cross the road, over the river, see the sign for angels landing: 2.5 miles.
soon after starting on the path, the two ebikers eventually caught up to me and i asked if i could follow them bc i was so frickin scared! luckily they were nice and we continued on together. me, breathless, sweating, barely keeping pace, but so relieved to have this beautiful signal of being safe in the world to counter my uncertainty. it felt like the whole universe was sending me the support i needed exactly when i needed it.
eventually, i couldn’t keep up and stopped to catch my breath, so they could keep going at their pace. it was still dark, but a faint veil of light was rising and actually the path was paved most of the way up, which i was definitely not expecting. but i was completely fine by now. the fear had been replaced with safety. these two ebike angels from vienna delivered me safely and confidently to my next phase.
would i have gone it alone? maybe. but the company helped so that i could continue on. in many ways it was better that the path was dark bc if i could see it i think it would have taken me a whole lot longer. without seeing what was ahead of me, it kept me focused on the time element of getting to the top by sunrise. when i was tired and wanting to stop i kept encouraging my body to make it up there, the sun is rising, we have to make it to the top! come on let’s do this, you got this, this is just for now! and through each step, each breath, my body somehow got me up there to a view and a feeling that words really can’t quite describe. i was so happy and relieved and proud of myself and met the ebikers again right before the last ascent and again at the top. we made it! i made it! we made it!!! oh, the glory of making it to the top of a mountain! i was there, and the sun was still rising.
was the fear propelling me forward somehow? once i went past the threshold and into the fear something carried me forward. once i had begun, it felt like there was no choice, except to keep going.
this primal fear that arose in me, seeing it now from the other side, feels like a huge gift: proof that i am safe and supported in this world, even when the fear tells me different. i love that. because i dared to dive into the shadow of the fear, and i came out with proof that it was worth it.
i feel so much gratitude (and relief) that i chose to take that step and not let the fear hold me back. grateful that i followed and fulfilled my initial urge to get to the top by sunrise. in its simplicity it was as elemental as following my feet, one step in front of the other. i didn’t think of all the steps, emotions and physical exertion or i probably wouldn’t have gone. it was a lot! and really high up there and scary (people have died on this trail) and you really never know until you are there in that moment, doing the thing. i made it up that mountain one step at a time. and one step at a time brought be back down.
ONE step. as simple and basic as that, brought me to walking through fear and led to the heights of some rare natural beauty and gloriousness.
to me the point is to remind myself that sometimes the fear is there to test true resolve. and when faith is put toward it, and you finally jump, you will be caught. however, you won’t know until you do it. that’s the catch.
it’s difficult to see the outcome before it’s arrived. but my invitation to you is to make one step toward facing a fear that’s been tapping you on the shoulder lately, and see what comes on the other side.
#walkingthroughfear #fear #zion #angelslanding #adventure
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Visual journalism work from my BA studies at Brooks Institute of Photography, as well as for the Carpenters Union in the Northeast United States.
📜 BA Visual Journalism
📢 Published on NPR.org, US News & World Report, Los Angeles Times
Photo work here 🔗 ellenwebber.net/
Astrology, meditation and more on my other channel Gently Wander ➡️ youtube.com/@GentlyWander