The last time I saw you, you had left the hotel room, I said āplease be safeā & you replied āI willā
Then I watched you walk down the street from the window looking down at your phone. the second you left, I felt an immense dread I felt thinking if this was our final goodbye. Something I would always dread. I never wanted to let you go.
Or the times I had to catch my flight back home, & leave Sydney & Melbourne after spending the week with you,. Knowing I had to come back to my personal hell, away from you, worrying sick whether youāll be safe, whether I would be able to do something, anything at all if you ever needed me. & on each of those departures, we never got to have one last long hug, one final kiss, & the last chance to say āI love youā
I was scared because I always felt as if I took this time for granted. because the uncomfortable truth is this.
Thereās always the last time.
Thereās always a never again.