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About
I was born in 1979 as a baby. Somehow I had already learnt to walk before entering the world and while everyone in the room was engrossed with the placenta (which apparently contained pearls and banknotes) I wandered off by mistake. I spent the first four years of my life masquerading as a junior doctor - sorry to all those who suffered as a result of my tinpot diagnoses; Bath RUH will probably arrange compo - until I was cruelly exposed as a charlatan quack and sent to primary school. I now busy myself making grotesque representations of death using nothing but spit, boot polish, acorns and epoxy resin.
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