Hey there!
Do come in! Please wipe your feet on the mat first though... geesh, what have you been walking in? Did you personally make the effort to step in every piece of dog feces you saw on your way over here? Oh never mind, forget wiping your shoes, hand them here... thanks, yeah, I'll be BURNING THESE.
My name's Ben, this is my personal abode, where I'm mostly myself. NO DON'T TOUCH THAT! That's valuable, first your shoes and now the vase... *sigh* damn.
Anyhow, enjoy your stay I spose, just don't break anymore vases please?