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idogwhisper
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DEFINITIONS:
Adult, n. a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
Bar-be-que
(bar•buh•Q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up—for the dinner he made for his friends."
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Procrastination: -
1 I'll define this tomorrow
2 the art of keeping up with yesterday
3 the thief of time
4 a habit you can put off trying to correct
5 constantly reading and posting articles to Youtube
Premenstrual Syndrome - [Med.] just before their periods, women behave the way men do all the time
Primate - 1 removing your husband / bf from in front of the television 2 the sultan's favorite wife 3 the first spouse of a frequently married person.
Invisible Man - what a husband / partner becomes when there's housework to be done
judo - currency of Israel
karma - justice without the feeling of satisfaction
kissing - 1.a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other
laziness - using a remote control to locate your other remote controls
luck - natural force involved when a man picks up a horseshoe on the road and is knocked by a car into a field of four-leaf clovers, passing under a ladder on the way, as a black cat walks by, getting up and stepping on a mirror hidden in the grass, thereby cracking it, as the shopping bag he was carrying rips open and the package of salt that was in it spills on the ground
masturbation - the human version of autoexec.bat
organ donor - a motorcyclist without a helmet
organ transplant - [Med.] what you do to your piano when you move
password - [Comput.] 1 ********
scalpel - [Med.] what Indians used to do
smart ass - someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is
Yawn, n. An honest opinion openly expressed.
Wrinkle, n. Something other people have; I have character lines.
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