@rickycouture7224

3 years ago

Whether or not a person comes to conclude that they are the villain, I feel like this question should remain somewhere retrievable in the human conscience at all times. Not always because this question will expose the villainhood, but because it might expose something a little deeper -- the fact that within all of us comes the default tendency to view every action we take, every choice we make, as justifiable.


This is the greatest curse of being human, really, because (with the exception of the rarest few) there is only one kind of human being; the kind has an excuse for everything.


That's not to say we can't be better, but if you're not living in an entirely present and self-aware state at all times then it's only too easy to become the villain. All it takes is one bad memory to take us down some dark and winding road, where our destination tends to be some person (especially a loved one) from our past who did us wrong. Someone to blame for who we are (and aren't) or what we (don't) have.


The only cure is to truly ask yourself if this is the role you play. I had this happen back in 2018 after my lung had collapsed and I was lying in the ICU in the dark, connected to a respirator just terrified at the thought that I might leave this earth with some of the people I love most inevitably having to think about some of the terrible things I've said to them in anger over the years. Things you write off as forgiven until life gets serious and you realize that some things require so much more than an apology.


Needless to say, when I finally got out of the hospital 30 days later, I really did change the way I managed conflict. I walked away at the slightest hint of it, choosing to preserve mutual respect and the dignity of the other person instead of the usual where I would just trade terrible judgments.


I don't mean to be so personal with it, and apologies for such a long response, but I really don't think this is stressed enough. Not just for those who wish to make amends, no matter how slight the offense, but also for those who lack in self-awareness. There are some in this world who leave entire stretches of chaos and dysfunction in their wake. People so addicted to their own saga, and the attention they receive, that they would burn anybody to keep it.


For those people, this question can't come up often enough. Whether it transforms them or not, and for many it won't, the sheer act of confronting themselves even once is enough to make a difference. Especially while you're still young enough to change and regain people's trust. I have a father who's in his late 50's (ish) and our relationship is non-existent for this very reason. He's the villain who has an excuse for everything, and because he's repeated that cycle for so long it's almost impossible to now undo.

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