@keons8766

5 years ago

I plan on trying to stay alive until the end, too.
But it’s so hard. I’m struggling with anxiety, depression, suicide ideation, etc. And it’s all because of my sexuality and gender identity (bisexual transboy).
I’m just so scared and I really don’t see any happiness in the future.
But it’s gotta be there, right?
I have friends in my life now after years of loneliness; they say they care about me & that I matter. I just can’t seem to believe it.
I feel like I have nobody to talk to for help.

I try to stay alive and keep moving forward. “It’s hard now, but it’ll get better.” Just keep reminding myself that. I can’t give up. t’s easy, it’s simple. Isolation is easier than leaving the house, staying in bed is easier than getting up. But I have to. If not for myself, then take into consideration the people I have yet to meet. 
Think about the small things that I’ll miss out on. Like jello cups, finding new songs and laughing so hard my ribs hurt. Like watching the seasons change or watching my guy friend, who I have a crush on, smile (he’s really cute in all the ways you’d love someone to be).
Even if they’re bad, like soggy socks and forgetting something on a road trip, it’s still worth experiencing. 
I’ll think about the big things like my graduation in a few years. Think about my first date, think about top surgery that I’ll have, think about finally being the boy that I am.
That happiness isn’t impossible, I have hope.
STAY STREET AND STAY ALIVE ||-//

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