@HeartShapedLiess

1 month ago

guys, butter deserves to be told this stuff. none of us care what you think, "oh he doenst deserve it hes physically ill and thats too far!" he was ableist towards people with bpd by making rules that specifically applied to people with borderline traits and bpd, and not anyone else in the server. he said death threats towards me in the server like "oh, trappa should die." then turns around and said "but don't harass her!" he is harassing ME. he encourages my classmate to kick me out of my school and get me expelled in the daily for things i not only don't do anymore, but things i never agreed with in the first place. he thinks he is morally above me because he has a physical illness and i have a mental illness, acting like we don't both have our own issues. crohns disease isn't even that bad of an illness as he depicts it as! butter has only seen people that fake having personality disorders, and when he sees someone who has REAL BPD (me), he suddenly freaks out and acts like it's a big issue? you should have expected this from someone who has frequently shown symptoms of bpd even outside of the piafos server, especially identity diffusion, splitting, and paranoid ideation.. most people who claim to have bpd in his server are fakers because if they really DID have bpd (or bpd that is as bad as they claim it is), they would understand what i'm going through. both him and his devs have seen me post about symptoms, show symptoms, time and time again, and they don't seem to realize that i'm not as bad as they think i am, they're just blowing things out of proportion. i'm a mentally ill 13 year old, what else do you need me to say or do? this isn't just a disorder that i can mask. bpd is severe, and nobody seems to realize that and take it seriously because a lot of people who claim to have bpd make it out to be just obsessing over other people, despite that not being all bpd is. these people don't understand the constant fear of losing everyone. they don't understand the constant cycle of parasociality, of wanting a relationship that will only harm you in the end. the constant pain of believing someone was the worst person in your life, but just craving their attention because they wanted to see you grow. the pain of feeling like you're living your best life in the morning, but when the day ends you contemplate ending it all. how it feels to never truly be happy in live. living in constant regret of your awful choices, and ruining things on your own accord. heck, he doesn't know the pain of trying your best to change, and succeeding for a long time, but slowly falling back into your old habits. the madness that is trying to fit in with other people, taking every aspect of the community you're in, and making that be the person you are today, but tomorrow you are a different person. butter and his friends don't understand this, and never will.

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