Welcome to "This is a Dead Giveaway! Relationship Facts!" where we uncover the mysteries of married life with a side of humor.

Today's topic: decoding the secret language of sexy underwear.

Husbands, have you ever woken up to find your wife prancing around in lacy lingerie?

Congratulations, you've won the laundry lottery!

That's right, fellas, when your lady is wearing her frilly underthings first thing in the morning, it's not an invitation for some morning delight.

Nope, it's a dead giveaway that the laundry basket is overflowing and it's time to get those skivvies in the wash.

But don't worry, there's no need to panic.

With our expert tips, you'll be able to decipher your wife's lingerie language in no time.

If she's wearing a black lace thong, that means the darks need to be separated.

A red bra and panty set?

Time to break out the bleach.

And if you see her in a frumpy old granny panty, well, that's just a cry for help.

So there you have it, folks.

Next time you catch your wife in her sexy skivvies, don't get too excited.

Just grab the laundry hamper and get to work.

And remember, a clean load of laundry is the ultimate aphrodisiac in any relationship.

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